So I was not intending to post anything today at all, and I have other posts drafted that I had planned to post next, but I felt the need to share something. In a way it can be considered an update, I suppose.
Well I’ve been stressing this semester, because for some unknown reason I can’t focus on my classes. I’m not sure if it’s the professors teaching styles, if it’s that I’m burnt out from last semester, that my brain is refusing to retain information, lack of sleep, too much sleep, unhealthy eating, distractions since I started this blog, or the combination of everything (probably).
I thought taking less classes would be less stress, but I feel almost as stressed as last semester even with more time on my hands.
For example, yesterday was awful! I started to worry and stress about financial aid, bills, grades, how many classes and which ones I have left, if I need to get a new job even after the raise I got (limited on hours), if Accounting is truly the right subject for me, and honestly everything I could stress about.
By the time I got off work my neck, shoulder, face, jaw, head, and back were all hurting…tension pain. I also felt sick, almost feverish, and I still had a ton of homework and studying to do.
My sister tried to massage out the tension; which usually works, but this time the relief was only temporary. I eventually tried to endure, and work on my homework, but it was too uncomfortable. So instead to get my mind off of the stress, I helped my mom cook a little, and as much as I hate it…I took pills to help with my headache.
I made the decision to force myself to bed earlier than I usually do, in hopes that I’d feel better in the morning. Before bed, I also decided that I’d read my bible too. Since I turned the light off, I used the Bible app I have on my phone. I found a “challenge” (just certain verses you can read within a certain amount of days) regarding stress.
Here’s some of the text from a preacher about the verses, and one of the verses that stood out to me:
After reading this and the verses, my outlook changed a little. I felt a little less overwhelmed. So, after reading the above, I prayed myself to sleep; which felt more like a heart to heart with God, as if I were talking about my deep feelings and desires.
When I woke up this morning I felt completely rested, joyful, and at peace for once in a long time! I wasn’t in pain or stressed out anymore. I woke up in time to do my make-up, my hair (more than usual), and take my time getting ready for class.
Before I left, my dad told me to wait. He handed me about six or seven flowers he had just picked in a drinking cup, and told me to take them with me in my car. At first I thought, okay this is silly and I need to get to class, but then I thought about it and it cheered me up. The flowers smelled so good, and I get so caught up in day to day stresses I rarely “stop and smell the roses“. This only improved how I had been feeling.
After class, I was listening to Lauren Daigle’s song O’Lord and the lyrics really spoke to me!
“Oh, O’Lord O’Lord You hear my cry
Your love is lifting me above all the lies
No matter what I face this I know in time
You’ll take all that is wrong and make it right”
How beautiful are those lyrics? I felt such relief, and it’s not that I don’t already know that everything will be alright, but sometimes when I’m going through something I forget how amazing He really is.
I may not know what the future holds, or how I’ll get there, but I do know that as long as I seek Him and have faith everything will work out okay!
I’m only human, and I’m only learning as I go. One thing that never changes…God is love, and he will always be there for us, but we have free will and sometimes we would rather do anything else but pray or seek Him.
I hope you all have a beautiful day and…Stand your ground! Everything will be alright.